Is Your Contentment Conditional?

Contentment, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is defined as "the state of being happy and satisfied." It seems like a simple enough concept, right? To be honest, contentment really wasn't something that crossed my mind much in the past. If I was happy, I was happy. If I was sad, sad. Angry, angry, and so on. It seemed to me something that I had little control over. How could I, really? Emotions are so often determined by circumstances that are beyond our control, so why spend time pondering such a thing? Over the past few months, I've found myself receiving some amazing counsel from some spiritual mentors. Through the conversations, I not only became aware of contentment as a choice, but also that my past ignorance on such an idea had actually caused many roadblocks from me throughout life. 

I have always known that I'm a "dreamer." I enjoy it. If you are, I guarantee that you love it, too. Our minds are rarely in the moment, because the fantastic is much more fascinating. By nature, does that also make us "chasers,"  "wanderers?" It seems as though there must always be something epic and wonderful around the corner, down the road and across the bridge. When we reach it, we will be happy, until then, we must wait. Here in lies our problem, doesn't it? On the days, months and, sometimes, years when it feels there has been no wonder and adventure, we're crushed and we long for it. It may even be that we don't know what we're longing for, just something that isn't just another normal day. In all honestly, you don't have to be a dreamer to feel this hurt. We all feel it, maybe often, maybe occasionally. It's painful and it's a punishment that we inflict on ourselves.

We grow up with certain images of success rooted in our minds. Maybe you imagined yourself becoming a doctor. You could see yourself walking a cancer patient down the hall. You've been their rock and they look up at you with sense of gratitude that makes your heart overflow. You save lives every day and when you lie down to sleep at night, you are fulfilled. Only, you never became a doctor. Maybe you were destined for the skies. You ran around the house as a child with your toy jets, zooming through those imaginary clouds. "One day," you thought," I'll fly free as a bird." Years passed and the anticipation built up, then, on your first plane ride, you vomited for the entire flight. Now, chasing dreams is an entirely different post all together. Sometimes those dreams and adventures that we always saw ourselves embarking off on are postponed. Life intervenes. That opportunity to finally explore Yosemite? Well, the transmission on your car just went out. Mission trip? Boom, you and your spouse are suddenly expecting. A Ph. D. in..., whoa, have you see the price of a degree these days? Your happiness would've been fulfilled in this  thing, only, suddenly, you're not able to chase that  thing, at least not on the timetable you wanted. 

Do you feel stuck? Disappointed? "Why, God?" you ask. "I would've been great at this! Why not?" You think God doesn't hear you. He seems busy making sure your neighbor's idiot son coasts through college on his one and only skill of tossing a football around. What if God hears you? He hears you and he's even whispering back, but we're too busy weeping over the loss of a dream to hear. "Your happiness cannot lie in these things," he's telling you. Maybe you did become a doctor, but the hours are grueling and those patients that you couldn't save keep you awake at night. Whether the dream is out of reach, or it has come and gone, we chose to make our happiness conditional. We've robbed ourselves of the precious opportunity for unconditional contentment. Don't you think it's time we stop?